A Moonless Night: Trying to read "Cosmopolis"? Don't even bother!

Monday, June 13, 2011

Trying to read "Cosmopolis"? Don't even bother!

I'm sure by now that everyone has seen the delish pics of The Prettah all dolled up for "Cosmopolis".

Like this one ...

... and this one ...

... and this one *sighs dreamily*

Oh holy hell, there went my panties.

I'm just including this one, because the look on his face is PRICELESS! LMAO!

So anyhoodle, I attempted to read the book "Cosmopolis". It's only 90 pages, I eat 90 page books for breakfast, I figured this would be a uber quick read and I'd be on my merry way.

Six days later ... (and no, I'm not even joking!)

Seriously, the thing reads like stereo instructions. It hurt my brain to read it, fo sho.

I tried to like this book, I really did. I thought the premise sounded interesting, I thought that the main character, Eric, would have at least ONE redeeming quality to him.

Nope, not one.

Firstly, the book is confusing as all get out. Is it set in the future? We know it takes place in New York City, but no clear indication is given to help you figure out the year. The various gadgets and tools Eric uses in the course of his day would make you believe we're talking about a future time: webphones, Eric's wristwatch that has holographic displays, etc. Then there's the magical custom limousine that Eric travels around in that is so over-the-top: it has a Carrarra marble floor, a wall of video screens, a built-in doctor's examination table that folds away when not in use, a full-size desk and chair and a smaller jump seat for whichever of Eric's various lackey's is discussing the day's events.

The dialogue is bizarre and rambling, you're never quite sure who is talking and to whom at any given moment. Eric is married to Elise, but he cheats on her at least twice in the course of a few hours - and doesn't recognize his wife on several encounters he has with her during the day. He's vain, self-centered and only at the very end does he realize he does love his wife ... what a bastard!

And not the Beautiful Bastard, either. I wish! *dreamy sigh*

Eric has not one redeeming quality, not ONE.

And the ending? SERIOUSLY? I wanted to throw my Nook across the room, that's how pissed off I was once I'd finished.

Yep, that was pretty much my reaction.

I only hope to goddess that they find some way to make sense of this book's narrative and find some type of plot for the movie that is being filmed currently. I adore Robert Pattinson, but goddess help him - unless they change something about Eric or make him become somewhat redeemable, I will not be seeing this movie.

Okay, well ... yeah, I probably will, because HELLO? It has Robert Pattinson in it - possibly nekkid Robert Pattinson. And while he won't be doing this: